What Are Your Reasons For Not Feeling Confident?
If you don’t feel confident in your life, there may be a number of reasons why.
First, its good to know what our basic human drives are so that you can use them to bring about change.
Its like anything else, if we don’t know whats causing us to feel the way we do then we can’t put it right.
What Stops Us From Feeling Confident?
There are a number of reasons we often don’t feel confident and below I share five of them.
1. Control
We all want a sense of control. If we lose it, we lose confidence. For instance, we might have a diagnosis about our health, or the end of a relationship. If we don’t have that sense of control or influence in any area, its predictable that we lose confidence or feel overwhelmed.
You need to ask yourself what level of control do you feel you have in ALL areas of your life.
There is a flip side of course. One where someone is TOO MUCH in control and uses it in a negative way. Having a good balance is essential.
Often, the way you begin your day can have a positive effect on how you control it. So, get control of your mornings and begin them in the right way. You might like my free guide OWN YOUR DAY.
I have lots of activities, tips and advice I use with clients on getting started the right way but OWN YOUR DAY is a free starter.
2. Competency
Feeling competent is a vital ingredient in our emotions. If you don’t feel competent, you won’t get things done. Ask yourself how much you know and do you feel like you can master something.
Brendon Burchard, says there is such a thing as the confidence>>>> confidence loop. The more knowledge we get the more confident we become.
Your level of competency can slow you down, so how can you develop more knowledge in areas of your life right now? An important question to ask yourself.
Successful people create a learning plan to learn the things they NEED to know. The more you learn you will become more competent and more confident.
What is YOUR learning plan?
What are you going to do to learn more?
3. Congruence
Is your identity in alignment with how you actually show up in the world?
Are you being genuine or do you put another face on when you’re on social media for instance? Are you being true to yourself?
Pretending to be someone we aren’t will catch you up and its so much better to be who we really are. Be authentic and genuine with integrity, making sure your intentions for who you are are in alignment with your behaviour.
4. Caring
Do you feel like you’re caring for the people in your life enough?
Are YOU cared FOR?
Lack of caring can lead to a lack of confidence. If you care more you feel more confident.
Self care is practiced by more confident people.
So make sure you are looking after yourself, the ones you love and become more confident in the process.
5. Connection
When we self care, we connect with ourselves, our situation and others. Make sure when with other people you develop that full presence, so you are paying attention when with them. Quite often we can be talking to someone and our minds are elsewhere.
Practice greater connection with people, especially with your spouse, partner, self, moments, colleagues and team mates.
When you ask yourself questions you begin to take accountability for your own life. Its evaluating where you are and the biggest connection you can make is with yourself.
Summary
If you notice, you have just read about the 5 C’s…. Control, Competency, Congruence, Caring and Connection. I learned these from one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard.
If you begin to put the suggestions into practice and living them, you will find your confidence growing and growing.
Hit me up with a message if you have any questions. You can reach me at lynda@lyndakenny.com
Today’s post, What Are Your Reasons For Not Feeling Confident? is meant to give you value and benefit. Let me know if it did and leave me a comment below.
Here is to your successful and confident self.
LYNDA KENNY
Certified High Performance Coach
Email me at Lynda@lyndakenny.com
I am here to help. The simplest thing to do is get in touch.
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